Life is about progress. Hopefully we are all making progress in our lives towards what we want to be and who we should be. Sometimes it seems like you can get caught in the doldrums. There is just no external wind to help get you to where you want to go. You have to paddle. With regard to work I feel that way. Things just aren't progressing and neither am I in the way that I want to...and it is mostly my fault. So briefly, I am flogging myself in public to remind myself to get my butt in gear and make something happen somehow. No excuses.
In other ways, in other areas, things are progressing decently. I feel I more fit than I was last month. I have lost a little more weight, not counting last night's gluttony and today's carryover. Neil, Jimbo, and Dave know of what I speak. Brianero should know of this too, except his claimed an illness kept him away. Anyway, I try to find time to ride even if it is for less than an hour. Faster is the goal, and again there are no excuses. In this area of my life is easier to measure progress. I get on the scale usually every morning to see what is up. There are fluctuations, much of it depending upon whether I have evacuated yesterday's intake or not yet when I step on the scale. As I lose more weight it is evident that I could surely lose another 20 pounds and still not look too skinny. Doubtful that this will happen anytime soon though. I can also look to race results to see how I am fairing against guys that finish near me race after race.
The Cernitz bikes are making great progress. One frame's at paint and the other in its initial stages of formation. I am really grateful for Neil and all the thought and work that he has put into these frames. I am lucky to know him for a variety of reasons actually.
The ButterCup Team is on the fast track to reality. Kits have been ordered and by the end of October we will most likely be a registered team with OBRA. Ours is a team of 4 guys, but you have to start somewhere. I will delve more into that in later posts certainly. I should probably post links on my blog to our sponsors...yeah, need to do that pronto. Anyway, I didn't have much to do with the heading up this team, that was mainly Packfodder Jim. Nevertheless, I support him and his efforts. He a is dedicated guy. You need dedication to make progress...
My family is increasingly busy. Bridget has work occasionally and lots of work that she does for church (which has been overwhelming at times), Ryan--school and soccer, Jack--preschool and soccer, and Colin is dead set on deconstruction of his known universe (i.e., he tosses food all over the floor, removes everything from cupboards, and rips hair off of the cat fairly often). It is hard to keep everything straight, luckily Bridget does so for me. We don't get to sit at home often. This is a good thing.
The main thing that is required for me to be at peace in important areas of my life is to be make progress is a goal. For instance, I have some weight goals and I now know how to lose weight if I am willing to pay the price to do so. If I want to get faster at cyclocross, I know certain training regimens that will help further this goal. A lack of time makes it difficult to do everything I would like to do to train, but I do what I can. In opening my own law firm, it has been difficult because I don't really know how, and I haven't spent the time to figure it out. I mean I have these vague notions of what should be done. And I know of some specific things that needed to be done as well. But as far as an actual goal with something specific attached to it that can be aimed at and accomplished....not so much. Part of it is because I don't really know what to expect. Part of it is because I haven't spent much time finding out the best route to get this done. And part is because, frankly, I didn't really want to have my own firm as a first option. The amount of work that I foresee to get things rolling seems daunting. I would have much rather joined a entity that already existed. I am already working 40 hours at the bike shop and commuting another 8 to 10 hours per week on top of that....(sigh) excuses....they are so easy to make. I just need to pay the price.
Anyway, this morning I just sort of blew up. Not at anyone really, just myself. I hate the situation I am in. I need to bring in some income to survive and the income I am bringing in is not really enough in the long term. I want to start actually practicing law, but the transition back into it will be difficult. If only I had gone about things a little differently a couple of years ago. If I hadn't been so picky about what area of law I doubt I would be in this situation...but perhaps I am in this situation for a reason. At least, that is what Bridget has thought. She is very supportive and she tries to be an effective rudder in our lives. Good thing, because I feel like the captain of the Exxon Valdes much of the time recently. Enough babbling though. I don't want to be like some people that talk a good game and never follow through. That is not really my schtick.
Progress...time to get going and make things happen somehow, someway.
A quick note: I ran my Mavic Ksyrium Elites tubeless for the first time today. The tires are Hutchinson Bulldogs. Early indications are that I only have to run them about 2 to 4 pounds more pressure than I run in most of my tubulars. The feel is similar to my Tufo tubulars, not as plush feeling as the Fangos I ran last year. But I think that the Bulldogs have better mud capabilities. I also have Vittoria XM tubulars to glue up. More on all this in the days to come.