Thoughts of Mortality and Living up to Expectations.

First off, let me write that parts continue to arrive for the Neil frame. An EC90 crankset and EC90 fork came in today. Neil received the last of the frame pieces yesterday. I think that all there is left is to pick up is the headset (back ordered) and tires (also back ordered)

Tonight, I went to the grocery store to pick up some stuff to make Bridget breakfast. It is her birthday tomorrow and I would like to start it off by making her a little more plump--she has been losing far too much weight lately and it is making me feel guilty.

Anyway, on the way home I heard a commercial for some calcium supplement or another. My Dad was big on various supplements, i.e. calcium, fish oil, and a host of other things. That sent my mind on a spiral down to deeper subjects and memories. It has been a little more than a month and a half since he passed on. It feels odd. There is just sort of a void now. A little sadness for sure, but an emptiness is more like it. Sure, talking to Dad could be tiresome at times, but he was a font of information about lots of things. And now that font is, of course, gone.

I was reading a fictional book that had a character in it that recorded history, memorized it for future generations to use so that it would not be lost. Much of my father's history is lost. He never kept journals or anything of the sort. Often it was difficult to get him talk much beyond the surface of what his childhood was like. He kept certain things very close to the vest. Other things were drilled into my head to such a degree that even if I get Alzheimer's Disease I doubt I will forget them.

I don't have too many physical possessions from my Dad either. Most of what I have has to be sold off. Those that I will keep are not things that I would call precious. Maybe I don't get to into those sorts of things that he liked. Sure, I like stuff, but I don't really relate Dad's stuff to him. It doesn't really do much for me. It is just sort of stuff that Dad had and that is about it. There isn't too much there sentimentally for me, which sort of surprises me. Maybe that will change in future years.

But, it is cool that I am having a blast riding Dad's road bike--it fit me better than my own. And I am using the aftermarket Specialized saddle he purchased to make the road bike more bearable (I am loving the original saddle on the S-Works Roubaix which he disdained and too narrow and unpadded) on my GT. I can't remember which specific model it is, but it's super comfy, a perfect mtb saddle. Those things are cool, but I don't feel any closer to Dad when I am using them.

No, losing a parent is just weird. I am sure that losing a spouse is much worse. Likely I won't have to go through that--Bridget has better longevity genes than I do and she is a few years younger. Sucks to be her I guess... ;)

Stuff is great and all but there is more to leaving part of you around than leaving cool stuff for people to inherit. I need to make sure to remember this with my boys.

******

On to another subject. Or rather back to the one that has been my obsession for the past few weeks, The Cernitz SS Cross bike--Codenamed: Buttercup.

So Neil has come up with something to personalize the frame. On the bottom of the bottom bracket shell he is going to cut out an "FF". Richard Sachs does something like this on his frames, except that the cut out is of his emblem.

This cut out, this personalization is sort of a burden. In a good way though. The "FF" stands for "Fast Flynn." Umm, Fast? Not so much. Especially not right now. But even before I learned of this plan I was feeling some pressure. At the beginning of August I topped 200 lbs. That was the first time in more than a year that I had been over 2 bills. I didn't like it. I had been doing some riding and thus I wasn't in horrible shape, but my diet sucked. My time in California taking care of my Dad and his affairs didn't help help. I ate way too much and too often. At that weight I know that I couldn't have raced this cyclocross season the way I wanted and this bike's attributes of speed and lightness would have been compromised by "FF" as in Fatty Flynn, not Fast Flynn.

So, enough is enough. Time to do something about it. With a great recommendation from Dave I am on my way. I downloaded a great App on the iPhone called Lose It. It is basically a calorie counter. It has a pretty good database and allows you to enter in your own stuff as well. I typed in my weight, height and age and after putting in how much I wanted to lose per week and then my goal weight. It then spit out how many calories I should intake each day to lose the weight.

Here are some specifics: My weekly goal is to lose one pound per week. This can be accomplished by limiting my caloric intake to 2199 calories per day. Goal weight 185. Starting weight 199.4 (weighed in the morning before breakfast about 9 days ago). Current weight 195.2 (weighed this morning before breakfast). I have been on the plan for a week. I have more or less stuck to the program with the exception of a couple of workouts. Working out allows you to eat more on the plan. Only I didn't eat much more and so I have lost more weight.

I eat lots of veggies. I eat a decent amount of meat, but not as much as I had been eating. I eat some breads, but not as much as I had been eating. I snack when I need to, but I try to do it smartly so that I don't blow my calorie budget. Basically, I try to eat around 300 to 400 calories for breakfast, around 700 for lunch and then around 700 to 800 for dinner. That leaves around 300 to 400 for snacks. My choice of foods mainly revolves around quantity over quality. Given a choice between eating a candy bar and a huge freakin salad with the same amount of calories, I have no problem picking the salad. More bulk seems to help stave off the cravings. At least so far. Anyway, a 4 pound loss is not too shabby.

The simple act of keeping track of what I eat is the key. It allows me to plan ahead for the day. I like this program a lot.

Lose It App for iTunes: Grade A- (I wish it had a more extensive catalog of food, but hey the App is free so I shouldn't complain).