Thursday, July 24, 2008

80 Year Old Women and Love Notes

First off before I start down this potentially hazardous/embarrassing road let me just state that I am very happily married. I am a lucky guy who caught a fish that was bigger than my line should have been able to reel in, so to speak.

A couple of days ago as I was rolling in to work on the Curtlo I pulled up along side some mid-size late model American-made car at a stop light. I can't remember what it was exactly, but it doesn't really matter. There were two old women in the car starring at me. I looked over at them and they started waving at me and I waved back at them because I thought that maybe I knew them from somewhere, like church or something. No, they were ogling me in my cycling bibs/jersey. Yuck. But now that I have lost some weight it is nice to have gotten slim enough so that some females to look twice at me I suppose even if it happens to be women that have more excess skin than a Chinese Shar Pei puppy. Though their flirting kind of grossed me out, I also found it humorous.

Today at work I was walking by the suggestion box at the shop and I saw that some dork had written a note that read "I (heart symbol) Devin." I thought that this was humorous so I asked who the dork was and no one would admit to it. Was there a chance that some female actually wrote this and thinks I am hot? Doubtful, but I admit it crossed my mind. After all, I am heading down to a BMI that is in the healthy or normal range for a guy my height and age. Maybe this happens to every guy that is in the normal BMI range for his age and height--I wouldn't know since I haven't been in the healthy/normal BMI range since around 1995.

Simon, who is another grunt at the shop like me, thought that it would be cool to see if there were any other cool notes that had made it from that note pad to the suggestion box. Upon opening it he found several notes. One was from some joker asking for pastel colored cycling clothing for men. Another said that Performance sucked. And there was another note that read "I (heart symbol) Chad" and it looked like the same handwriting as my love note. Chad, who is Chad? We don't have anyone named Chad at the shop. But there is a Chad who sometimes comes in, who also used to work there, but is now at another shop working part time. This Chad is someone who truly seems to love bikes and the lifestyle but doesn't ride much. But he seems to have plenty of time to ride, so I don't know what the issue is. He is only about 22 years old. These facts seem to put him in the poseur category to me, but that may be a bit harsh. He seems to be a good guy though. A good guy who is, um, a wee bit overweight. Now I am not talking big boned. No, this guy looks like he stuffed stuff a couple of pot-bellied pigs in his cycling kit. I am not bagging on him here, I am just trying to paint a picture. See he is trying to still wear the spendy cycling clothes that he bought for himself, oh, 50 pounds or more ago, from his pre-college days. His black bib shorts look charcoal grey because they are stretched so thin. It is scary. I try to wear eye protection around him just in case something comes loose and shoots off when it gives way. Frankly, I don't care that he is fat. I was pretty fat myself until recently. However, I had the sense not to wear stuff that was two sizes too small when I was bigger. I don't know how he does it.

Anyway, this guy Chad (which is not the actual name on this note nor his actual name, I changed it for this story) was just in the evening before. Perhaps he, or one of his crew that was in with him, wrote the notes--his and mine. Or if it wasn't him, maybe it was someone that knows both of us. If so, if this person has the hots for Chad and me, maybe that means I am hefty too. Maybe I also wear cycling clothes that are too tight and show too much belly/gut/butt or whatever. Hmmm....this is something to think about. Maybe time for different clothes? Am I a dork of the same magnitude?

In reality, I don't care--and neither does Chad by the look of it. Actually it is not anything worth thinking about, but it did keep my mind busy when I was trying not to go crazy by the sound my bike was making on every medium to hard pedalling effort. It is the same blasted "tick, tick.....tick, tick....tick, tick....." that I wrote about a couple of days ago. I thought it was the bottom bracket. Um, no. I installed a fresh bit of Italian goodness today in the form of a new Campy Chorus bottom bracket. This of course means that it was not the bottom bracket that is the cause of this noise and I just wasted my money. No, it is something else that is, as yet, undiagnosed (and seriously pissing me off). As a result, my obsessing about the note left for me on the way home was a welcome distraction. I have no answers, and I don't know who left it or if this Chad in the second note was the actually the Chad who needs some new larger cycling clothes. But, I do know that 80 year old women and some other mystery person (and this being Portland, Oregon means it could be anyone--man or woman of any age and intelligence) thinks I am hot, so at least I have that going for me. Geesh, maybe I shouldn't lose anymore weight I may be just too much for some folks out here to handle.

Please note--though the facts in this story are totally accurate, except for the guy's name, Chad, I don't think I am all that. I am a balding guy in this mid to late 30's--seriously, I am just trying to get in shape so I can have a good life with my wife and kids and have a little fun on two wheels.

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