Update

Frankly, I have hit a wall. I just don't seem to give a damn at all about training. I went to California for the holidays with the family and just ate the whole time. I haven't run, rode, or swam since the last time I posted. I have gained about 7 pounds and I don't care. Well, I do care, but not enough to stop being moderately self-destructive.

Car needs to go to the shop. I sold some wheels on ebay that took in $500 bucks but now it appears that they are lost, and of course I threw away the tracking number. USPS can't look it up. If the wheels don't show up or the guy is dishonest, I will be out $500 bucks that I don't have. My last grandparent died yesterday. Still no job. I applied to a few things recently so maybe something will break. But overall, frankly I don't give a shit about training right now.

This is inspite of the fact that I have a new old stock Campy Record carbon crankset sitting on my cross bike. I have new Craft winter bib knickers and Pearl Izumi Amfib bib tights sitting in a bag untouched. I am set for this season and I don't care. Hopefully soon I will get it together. My depression is certainly temporary but it is real. I feel robbed of any ambition. Applying to those jobs recently was like pulling teeth.

Bridget is doing her best to cheer me up, but I know that she is in a bit of a funk too some days.

I fly down to Califoria the middle of this week for a few days, I doubt I will be doing running or riding for a while yet. I am hesitant to run because my hip has been getting worse. There are times that I can't lay down or sit without it causing pain. Walking is fine, but running seems to aggrivate it if I run for more than 20 minutes. Biking seems to be ok on it, but I am too lazy to or whatever to ride. It seems like too much trouble.

Anyway, I am in an "'F' it" sort of mood.